What do I do now?

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It’s 8:00 am Saturday morning.  I don’t have anything in the queue.  I do have posters picked out just not ready to be posted (unlike the canned ones from the previous 2 weeks).  I should have stuff back up and running on a normal schedule sometime next week.  For those of you who discovered the blog due to Virginia’s fight, you are welcome to stay.  I will get our Iron Man review done soon.

I’m not sleeping well at night.  There’s a great big empty space in the bed.  I wake up whenever I nudge into Virginia’s half of the bed and she’s not there.  The song “Sleeping Single in Double Bed” although half-remembered and certainly not about my circumstance springs unbidden from mind.

The dog is confused, he keeps looking for Virginia.  In fact I know how the dog feels.

I’m picking up Virginia’s ashes today.  The funeral is tomorrow.

If I didn’t have my kids around, I’d go stark raving loony.

Oh God, how am I going to survive without her?

8 Comments

  1. One day at a time, with God’s perfect love and the support of your family. God will not let you walk this path alone, He will hold you as long as you need to be held.

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  2. You take things one minute at a time. Hold Virginia close in your heart and she will always be there untill you are reunited in heaven. You have a ton of people to lean on Steve. We will not let you fall. I love you my dear big brother.

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  3. I think you answered your own question in the first two words of your prayer. But (and I know its a cliche), you take it one step, one day, one moment at a time.

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  5. Steve- As the other two comments stated, one day at a time. You know as well as I that life with no Mom/Gin to get you ready in the morning is going to be hard to get used to. But, as I have said before, she is now an Angel on your shoulder. She is never truly gone. She’s just waiting for the time when the rest of you can join her in eternity. I know that the hardest times are right now because everything is so fresh in your mind and heart. And to an extent, that will always be the case. However, you have to realize that Gin herself would tell you that you need to stop panicking and rely on YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR for comfort and strength. I seem to recall not too long ago she said something to the effect that God would take care of things. Jehovah Jira?! I think she put it?! Don’t get too mad at me, I am not on the ball for Bible verses and phrases at the moment. Learn to TRUST that if HE decided that HE needed her at home, HE will provide the means necessary for you to make it through this Earthly drivel of a life without her. True, it will never be as it once was, but life never is. It is constantly changing, and all of us who knew Gin, no matter how long, are going to have to band together as the body of Christ and help each other through this. It’s that simple. And as the saying goes…Keep it simple, stupid. Remember, if you need yet another shoulder to cry on, I am only a phone call away.

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  6. You will survive to carry on for your children and for Virginia’s memory. But I won’t pretend it will be easy. One day at a time, as others have said.

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  8. Steve, as others have said, you’ll survive by taking things moment by moment. As you know by no means is it going to be easy, but with the love and support of your family and friends, including the those of us around the world who have never met you or Gin, but never the less have been touch by your posts on this site, you will make it through.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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