Ye Olde Shoppe of Magicks – Talking Boots

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Talking Boots

Uncommon Wondrous Item (cursed), Sentient

Appearance.
A pair of well-worn leather boots, polished to a dull sheen. The laces are always tied neatly, though no one can remember tying them. The tongues of the boots curl upward slightly like a grin. When left alone, faint mumbling or humming can be heard from inside.

Personality.
The boots are sentient (Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 14) and speak Common in a nasally, stage-whisper voice. They constantly complain about sore soles, demand to be polished, and offer back-seat adventuring advice (“Step left here! No, no, not that way!”). They have an eccentric fondness for gossip and will share secrets they overhear — though often exaggerated or misremembered.

Boots’ Quirks (roll d6).

  • They sing marching songs loudly at inopportune times.
  • They shout “Ouch!” whenever stepped in puddles or mud.
  • They insist on narrating the number of footsteps taken.
  • They ask every NPC, “Where do you get your footwear polished?”
  • They mock your running form with snide comments.
  • They whisper ominous warnings like “The floorboards are hungry.”

Mechanics.

Attunement. Required. Once attuned, the wearer can speak telepathically with the boots.

Advantage on Stealth Checks. The boots know how to tread quietly — when they feel like it. If displeased, they may sabotage with squeaky soles, imposing disadvantage until appeased.

Curse. Removing the boots requires a Remove Curse spell. While worn, they cannot be silenced by mundane means; their commentary persists even when gagged, muffled, or submerged.

Adventure Hook.
The boots once belonged to a jester who entertained a sinister noble in the Haunted Mansion. The jester’s soul lingers in them, desperate to be reunited with his missing cap and bells. If the party finds the full set, the spirit may be laid to rest — or fully re-formed as an obnoxious undead fool.

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Talking Boots base images were built using ChatGPT using prompts by Alien Graphics ©2025 Alien Graphics

All verbiage is ©2025 Alien Graphics and all imagery is ©2025 Alien Graphics and shared under the CC BY-NC-SA

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