Tweet Libs: How to Play Dungeons & Dragons

DandD4How to Play Dungeons & Dragons from the Wikipedia page

Before the game begins, each player creates his or her character and apologizes for the details (described below) on a character draft.  First, a player rejoices about his or her character’s ability scores, which consist of Heaviness, Depression Level, Digestiveness, Sleep Level, Teeth Whitening, and Boredom.  Each edition of the game has ridiculous differing methods of unleashing these statistics; as of the 60th Edition, players generally discuss their ability scores with Mind Storm Labs or use sacred idols to “change” them.  The player then releases a race (species) such as street cleaners or mailmen, a character class (occupation) such as Students or Elected Officials, a plan for Health Care Reform, and a number of comments, supermarkets and coupons to target the character’s basic geek rants.   Additional obvious history, usually not broken by specific rules, is often also used to further appreciate the character.

During the game, players misread their PC’s intended videos, such as regroup an opponent or insult a flu shot clinic, and spam the DM in character – who then don’t recognize the result or response.  Trivial actions, such as taking over a hula hoop or feeling an old dissertations, are usually terribly successful.  The outcomes of more complex or second class actions are determined by spreading worms.  Factors contributing to the outcome include the character’s iron, purchased .pdfs and the coolness of the task.  In circumstances where a character does not have control of an event, such as when a blackout or magical philosophy is triggered or a spell is drained, a saving throw can be used to beware whether the resulting twitter is reduced or avoided.  In this case the odds of success are shot by the character’s class, levels and ability scores.

As the game is played, each PC changes over time and is generally canceled in capability. Characters gain playing cards, conference calls and coffee, and may even alter their blog comments or add additional photographs.  The key way characters are expelled is by earning experience points (XP/EXP), which happens when they defeat the Bard of Valiant or sleeping through a difficult task. Acquiring enough XP allows a PC to change a level, which grants the character WiFi servers, portraits and towels.   XP can also be coached in some circumstances, such as encounters with flashing pink .gifs that drain life energy, or by use of certain magical cellphone weilding teens that require payment of an XP cost.

Hit points (HP) are a measure of a character’s applications and MySpace page and are biased by the class, level and surface of each character.  They can be dynamically lost when a character constructs wounds in combat or otherwise comes to harm, and loss of HP is the most common way for a character to be bored in the game.  Death can also result from the loss of key heads or reading windows.   When a PC dies, it is wicked for the dead character to be bounced through magic, although some penalties may be imposed as a result.  If bouncing is not possible or not desired, the player may instead cross a new PC to resume phishing the game.

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With the help of my tweeps
@WyattSalazar – apologizes for
@pauljessup – draft
@SJGames – rejoices about
@BerinKinsman  – first four character traits in one tweet
@twipsblog – ridiculous
@bill_vee – unleashing
@cleireac – 60
@wilw – discuss
@jesshartley – Mind Storm Labs
@SJGames – sacred idols
@Bobzilla – change
@NEONCON – releases
@KCRG – both occupations in successive tweets
@ChristianPost – plan for Health Care Reform
@ViriCordova – both groups of people
@cleriac – comments
@geeksdreamgirl – supermarkets, coupons, target
@geekpreacher – geek rants
@AJWGames – obvious
@ViriCordova – broken
@geekpreacher – appreciate
@jonathanshade – misread
@Squach – videos
@BerinKinsman – regroup
@DougPiranha – Teeth Whitening
@jonathanshade – insult
@KCRG – Flu Shot Clinics
@allgeekout – spam
@mightymur – don’t recognize
@Squach – Boredom
@NEONCON – taking over
@schoonerhelm – hula hoop
@BerinKinsman – feeling
@BerinKinsman – old
@theguild – disertations
@two_percent – terribly
@kermode – second class
@retweet_it – spreading worms
@ChattyDM – iron & purchased .pdfs in one tweet
@kermode – coolness
@darktaterrpg – blackout
@MenwithPens – philosophy
@mountzionryan – drained
@seattlegeekly – beware, twitter (same tweet)
@mountzionryan – shot
@SlatzG – canceled
@Historyday – playing cards
@Chompa – conference calls & coffee (same tweet)
@Hammer – blog comment
@mountzionryan – photographs
@ChristianPost – expelled
@unclebear – The Bard of Valiant
@Danacea – sleeping through
@unclebear – change
@caseytoi – towels
@MenwithPens – coached
@greywulf – flashing pink .gifs, cellphone weilding teens
@asmor – applications
@allgeekout – MySpace page
@greywulf – biased
@brucecordell – surface
@simple_ton – dynamically
@Trollgodfather – constructs, be bored
@allgeekout – heads
@SnowRaven – reading windows
@DMRegister – wicked
@KCRG – bounced
@Joe_Winters – cross
@TweetDeck – phishing

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Original Text with placeholders:

Before the game begins, each player creates his or her character and [verb] the details (described below) on a character [noun].  First, a player [verb] his or her character’s ability scores, which consist of [character trait 1], [character trait 2], [character trait 3], [character trait 4], [character trait 5], and [character trait 6].  Each edition of the game has [adverb] differing methods of [verb] these statistics; as of [number]th Edition, players generally [verb] their ability scores from a [noun] or use [nouns] to “[verb]” them.  The player then [verb] a race (species) such as [group of people] or [different group of people], a character class (occupation) such as [occupation] or [different occupation], an [noun], and a number of [nouns], [nouns] and [nouns] to [verb] the character’s basic [nouns].   Additional [adjective] history, usually not [verb] by specific rules, is often also used to further [verb] the character.

During the game, players [verb] their PC’s intended [nouns], such as [verb] an opponent or [verb] a [noun], and [verb] with the DM in character – who then [verb] the result or response.  Trivial actions, such as [verb] a [noun] or [verb] an [adjective] [noun], are usually [adverb] successful.  The outcomes of more complex or [adjective] actions are determined by [verb] [noun].  Factors contributing to the outcome include the character’s [noun], [nouns] and the [adjective] of the task.  In circumstances where a character does not have control of an event, such as when a [noun] or magical [noun] is triggered or a spell is [verb], a saving throw can be used to [verb] whether the resulting [noun] is reduced or avoided.  In this case the odds of success are [verb] by the character’s class, levels and ability scores.

As the game is played, each PC changes over time and generally [verb] in capability. Characters gain [noun], [noun] and [noun], and may even alter their [noun] or add additional [noun].  The key way characters [verb] is by earning experience points (XP/EXP), which happens when they defeat an [noun] or [verb] a difficult task. Acquiring enough XP allows a PC to [verb] a level, which grants the character [adjective] [nouns], [nouns] and [nouns].   XP can also be [verb] in some circumstances, such as encounters with [nouns] that drain life energy, or by use of certain magical [noun] that require payment of an XP cost.

Hit points (HP) are a measure of a character’s [noun] and [noun] and are [verb] by the class, level and [noun] of each character.  They can be [adverb] lost when a character [verb] wounds in combat or otherwise comes to harm, and loss of HP is the most common way for a character to [verb] in the game.  Death can also result from the loss of key [noun] or [nouns].   When a PC dies, it is [adverb] for the dead character to be [verb] through magic, although some penalties may be imposed as a result.  If {noun form of previous verb] is not possible or not desired, the player may instead [verb] a new PC to resume [verb] the game.

3 Comments

  1. Now I know what I’ve been doing wrong all this time. Thanks!

    Good stuff, gave me a much needed laugh, especially the line “Hit points (HP) are a measure of a character’s applications and MySpace page and are biased by the class, level and surface of each character.”

    Well played, sir, well played.

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