Vulcan Stev family movie review: 2012

Starring:
John Cusack …  Jackson Curtis
Amanda Peet …  Kate Curtis
Chiwetel Ejiofor …  Adrian Helmsley
Thandie Newton …  Laura Wilson
Oliver Platt …  Carl Anheuser
Thomas McCarthy …  Gordon Silberman
Woody Harrelson …  Charlie Frost
Danny Glover …  President Thomas Wilson
Liam James …  Noah Curtis
Morgan Lily …  Lilly Curtis
Zlatko Buric …  Yuri Karpov
Beatrice Rosen …  Tamara
Alexandre Haussmann …  Alec
Philippe Haussmann …  Oleg
Johann Urb …  Sasha

Summary from IMDb: Dr. Adrian Helmsley, part of a worldwide geophysical team investigating the effect on the earth of radiation from unprecedented solar storms, learns that the earth’s core is heating up. He warns U.S. President Thomas Wilson that the crust of the earth is becoming unstable and that without proper preparations for saving a fraction of the world’s population, the entire race is doomed. Meanwhile, writer Jackson Curtis stumbles on the same information. While the world’s leaders race to build “arks” to escape the impending cataclysm, Curtis struggles to find a way to save his family. Meanwhile, volcanic eruptions and earthquakes of unprecedented strength wreak havoc around the world.

2009 * Columbia Pictures * PG-13 * 158 minutes

Vulcan Stev 1 pointed ear
This film has got to be filled with some of the greatest special effects I’ve ever seen.  It is not however, one of the greatest films ever.  2012 has a double meaning for this film, not only is it the year the movie takes place it also the number of disaster movies it rips off during its two and half hour run time.  If you like special effects for special effects sake and are longing to see all of your favorite disaster movies in one setting then by all means, this is a must see movie.  However, if you need a plot that actually makes or characters that you really care about, then I advise you to watch Volcano, The Day After Tomorrow, Earthquake, or The Poseidon Adventure.

Roland Emmerich has proven himself to be the quint-essential “Disaster Movie” director of our time.  However, not only did he try to shove too many disasters into this movie, his personal beliefs colored far too many scenes.  Based on this movie, I would have to guess that Mr. Emmerich is an atheist.  Every single character who takes time out for prayer or to exercise their religious beliefs (with the notable exception of a neophyte Buddhist monk) ends up dead.  In fact out of all the world’s monuments or symbols that Mr. Emmerich gleefully destroys on screen, the statue of Christ the Redeemer in Rio gets a significant amount of screen time.  The heavy-handed message of religion can’t save you couldn’t have been more obvious unless Mr Emmerich had made it part of the title.

There are lots of nice footage of global destruction.  It does nothing to rescue this film.  My boys and I had accurately predicted all but one of the deaths.  This movie is so full of clichés that the 2012 title could be referring to that as well.

PIT #2: 1 pointed ear
As a movie it made a bit of sense.  The quote on the front of the DVD packed reads “The Best Disaster Movie Ever”.  If by “Best Disaster Movie” they mean highest body count or most destruction then yes.   If they mean it has the bt story or best characters then no.  This is not movie in the strictest sense.  It is a series of special effects strung together by a weak plot.

Danny Glover would be a better President than Barack Obama

PIT #3: .5 pointed ears
The special effects were cool.  However this movie made no sense.  I didn’t understand it all.  2012 is also the number of times I asked Daddy why we were watching this movie.

2.5 pointed ears out of 6
Was this movie a complete WOT (waste of time)? no.  Will it be replayed over and over at the V.S. house? no.  Not recommended.