Uwe – Uwe Boll
https://wiki.wizard101central.com/wiki/NPC:Uwe
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uwe_Boll
Uwe is an Avant-garde playwright. He makes the plays, all the best plays. He made a play about a famous pirate (you might know him or her) called One-Hundred-One Pirates. According to Uwe, his story is better because the Pirate is space slug. Now, Uwe is writing a play about your wizard’s adventures to date.
Uwe: “Now we start the play. As you see, I don’t waste gold on expensive sets and costumes. I pass the savings onto me. Buy new hat. Now, Action!”
The Wizard: “Oh, I am but a poor mute Wizard from the world of Dirt. How will I defeat such evils as these?”
Malistaire (Actor): “Grr, I’m Malistaire and I miss being married.”
Morganthe (Actor): “I am Morganthe, the Shadow Queen, and I will destroy the Spiral with singing dinosaur concert.”
Grandfather Spider (Actor): “…”
The Wizard: “Uh… right… As I was saying, how can I fight all of these? Oh, I know! Abra Kadabra. I win! With Magic! The End… Question Mark?”
Uwe: “Bravo. Is good play, yah? What? You no like play? Well, play don’t like you. I don’t like you. We fight now.”
Regardless of your opinion about the merits of this play, it seems to have resonated with the residents of the Spiral. When you next meet Uwe in Wallaru he seems to have done pretty well for himself. He has upgraded his wardrobe and is ready to open his new play “The Fourth Lark”, a sequel to his play about your wizard. He is opening this play in conjunction with the Avant Guard from Novus and the Scriptkeeper from Lemuria.
Uwe Boll (born June 22, 1965) is a German filmmaker. He came to prominence during the 2000s for his adaptations of video game franchises. Released theatrically, the films were critical and commercial failures; his 2005 Alone in the Dark adaptation is considered one of the worst films ever made. Boll’s subsequent projects, released during the 2010s, were mostly released straight to home media. After retiring in 2016 to become a restaurateur, Boll returned to filmmaking in 2022. His films are financed through his production companies Boll KG and Event Film Productions.
He achieved recognition for loosely adapting video games into movies, having directed and produced a number of such adaptations, including House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Alone in the Dark II, BloodRayne, BloodRayne 2: Deliverance, BloodRayne: The Third Reich, In the Name of the King, In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds, In the Name of the King 3: The Last Mission, Postal, and Far Cry.
Boll’s films have often performed poorly at the box office in the United States and around the world. House of the Dead, which was budgeted at $12 million, made $5.73 million in its opening weekend, Alone in the Dark, which was budgeted at $20 million, made $5.1 million, and BloodRayne, which was made for $25 million, made $2.42 million.
Boll was criticized in 2005 regarding his funding method, attributed to a loophole in the German tax laws that was finally closed in 2006. In the DVD commentary of Alone in the Dark, Boll explains how he used to fund his films: “[…] the reason I am able to do these kind of movies is I have a tax shelter fund in Germany, and if you invest in a movie in Germany you get basically fifty percent back from the government.”
Uwe Boll directed films have generated $41.3 million worldwide.
As of September 2023, House of the Dead (for which VideoHound’s “Golden Movie Retriever” described Boll as a “cinematic train wreck”) and Alone in the Dark appear on IMDb’s “Bottom 100” film list. In a review of Alone in the Dark, Rob Vaux states that the movie makes other “bad” movie directors feel better in comparison: “‘It’s okay,’ they’ll tell themselves, ‘I didn’t make Alone in the Dark.'” Another reviewer wrote that Alone in the Dark was “so poorly built, so horribly acted and so sloppily stitched together that it’s not even at the straight-to-DVD level.”
The current list of all Karamelle references can be found here.
The current list of all Wallaru references can be found here.
Uwe images are from Wizard101, and are (c) KingsIsle Entertainment, they are being used in a way that qualifies as fair use under US copyright law.
Uwe Boll image is borrowed from the Wikipedia. It is copyright Martin Carter and is shared under the CC BY 3.0 Creative Commons license.
Uwe Boll Golden Raspberry image is borrowed from the Wikipedia. It is copyright kareokefanboy and is shared under the CC BY-SA 2.0 Creative Commons license.
Image usage qualifies as fair use under US copyright law.
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