A Collection of some dumb and useless(?) magical items that I’ve discovered
1 Angry Shoes – Increases PCs AC based on how angry the PC is.
2 Goggles of Pixelization – These magical goggles sensor nudity.
3 Pocket Watch Mimic – This mimic has totally bought into its form it keeps excellent time and the watch never needs winding. But if you fail to feed it it dies.
4 Sword of the Fruit Ninja – This sword has the ability to cut only fruits. Will NOT cut anything else.
5 Hat of the Bad Toupee – A wizard hat that makes you bald while wearing it, your hair has returned when you take the hat off.
6 An Ancient Tome – Written in an unknown runic system. It is in fact written in the secret language of (random domesticated animal). {Can only be read by Druids in wildshape}.
7 The Cloak of Peek-a-Boo – This cloak makes you invisible when nobody is looking at you.
8 The Dagger of Goblin ID – This dagger will only glow in the presence of ONE particular goblin.
9 The Ring of Canceled Flight – A ring that gives you the ability to teleport to your current location.
10 Negative Gold Pieces – Exactly that. Your stash of GP depletes by the exact number you pick up. Cannot be recovered
11 The Bow of Never-Ending Arrows – A bow that when you shoot it, the arrow returns immediately to your quiver. Does no damage to the target.
12 Really Broken Clock – Despite its hands and gears not working at all, this clock is always wrong, no matter what time of day it is.
13 Sword of Cutting Words – This sword will only inflict emotional damage (Save versus Charisma).
14 Ring of the Moopsie – The wearer’s bones disappear, causing them to turn into a puddle of flesh. The wearer retains their basic shape and does not suffer any long-term or short-term injury as a result of the ring. Could be useful, if the ring doesn’t just slip off immediately.
15 Out of Order Sign – A sign on a string. If placed on an object, the object appears to be broken beyond repair. Everyone absolutely believes the item is broken, including the person who put it there.
16 Bracelet of Feline Good – Wearer always feels optimistic and cheerful. However, now speaks in Cat-Related puns. e.g. “Purr-fect! I felt horrible be-fur, meow I feel wonderful!” Only effects mood, not HP or other statuses.
17 Flask of Frustration – A container which makes you more thirsty after drinking from it.
18 Ring of Shiny – A ring that compels people to steal it, regardless of Alignment. Compels the bearer to wear it and show it off.
19 Thoria’s Ring of Forgotten Knowledge – Whenever someone asks you a question you know the answer, you just can’t think of it.
20 The Forlorn Bachelor’s Boots – The wearer wants to dance more than anything, but is too shy to dance alone or ask anyone to dance with him.
21 Caster’s Curse – This ring makes all creatures within 20 feet have to roll a DC 5 Will check or they think you’re casting a spell. They decide what they think that spell is going to do to them or others. Affects accordingly.
22 Shortsighted Lantern – Whoever is holding it can only see what is within the lantern’s glow, nothing else.
23 Ring of Encouragement – while worn, occasionally whispers encouraging words that only the wearer can hear.
24 Lantern of the Refrigerated Light – A lantern that only works when no one is around.
25 Torch of the Titanic Distress – Torches that only stay lit underwater.
26 Implements of Gerber – A bowl and spoon that makes everything eaten with them taste like mushed bananas.
27 The Throne of Michael the Scot – A chair that warms your backside but is always a bit too uncomfortable to sit in.
28 Tome of Truth – This book contains the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Reader must make a save versus Wisdom.
29 Bag of Insufficient Volume – Everything just doesn’t quite fit in this magical sack of frustration.
30 Amulet of Demon-Summoning: According to the inscription, the user may summon a specific Glabrezu named Qztxychtwdgb’xxiygh’fljjk’zmvpcdr’kkftpsl to their service, if they can correctly pronounce his name. The inscription does not mention that mispronouncing it instantly transports the user to the Abyss without any equipment whatsoever. {The correct pronunciation is “Dave” Demonic is a strange language}
Vulcan Stev's Database 